Feel of the Day.36

Gd morning world wide web !

Gd sleeep last nite! hopefully my stuffed up bioclock will re-adjust itself today :) fingers crossed !
As i woke up this chilly morning, one thought came to mind, beans! haha i know it's sorta weird but it's something that i actually thought about for quite a bit. Beans come in various sizes, shape, color, texture. mine's not all the flashy. i flick open facebook (btw, speaking of fb, i watched social network yesterday and it was gd! nice story and the film was portrayed in a very unique, elegant way :P haha go watch it !) and i see ppl's status saying things that they did lastnite and how awesome it was etcetcetc..gd for them. It's sometimes hard that i can't sprout like other beans do. It's like Day 1, alright, the outer layer of coating starts to break but it just stalls afterwards, nothing happens, while other beans start to shed the whole wrinkly exterior and start to show some leaves in the middle groove. I mean, i'm not asking much, i'm ust asking for a faster growth rate, not even, i'm simply wanting to shed the exterior and perhaps show a tiny weeebit of leaves ? I know the day will come when i'll be at the place, but by then, everyone would have already given birth to more beans, and many of those beans might even have started sprouting themselves. Am i exagerrating ? i don't know. i know i should just be thankful and grateful that i am a growing bean and i have my own soil and nutrients and w/e i need to grow. I should be grateful. but why am i not ? well, i'm not totally ungrateful, but this feeling of wanting more is defs > than gratefulness. This is foolishness i know, i shouldn't feel this way.

Life is full of beans and beans and more beans, some grow faster, some slower, some stalls for a bit. I guess i just need to remind myself, while my bean is strugling to sprout, there are other beans out there that's not even on soil, not even on grow-able anything, the're just on concrete, waiting to be trampled on by bypassers. Some are harvested for nutrients before they even shed their outer exterior and end up in the G.I. Tract of some multicellular eukaryotic super-organism. haiii....and some just rot, they don't even have the chance to grumble, they just exist and then they don't. nowww...i look at myself, how pathetic i am for complaining, i am an EXISTING bean ! i am GROWING, i have SOIL and i'm NOT ROTTEN. I need to be thankful and grateful, i need to see things on the positive side, i need to see the light, not the shadow, i need hope. i need an agonist. i do...Lord help me.

That is all i wana say. If you're someone who has actually read till this point, i thank you, i prob won't know when you read this, or who you are, but i thank you. It's nice to "know" that someone's listening to you :)

For all those who has a break coming up, enjoy it, treasure every moment of it, because it's here today, and gone tomorrow, in a flash. Live life to the full, with no regrets and be grateful for what you have (note to self !!!!!! :P). That's all, Thank you once again for reading.

Cheers,

alvin.k