A bird, think about a bird for a second. Imagine you're taking a morning stroll in a forest path, and you look up. Underneath the magnificent branches and leaves, are a few brightly coloured creatures, flapping their energetic wings, soaring way above the ground. If you ask me, the first word that comes to mind when I think about birds, is "freedom".
Freedom is a universal thing, every little thing, no mater how big or small, significant or trivial, glamorous or shabby, have some form of freedom. Even the ants crawling on the ground have a say.
Today, i feel like i've a first world problem. I have a place to sleep, food to fill my stomach, a room to shelter me from the rain; to some people, i've got nothing to complain about, hence "first world problem".
For so long this problem has plagued me, in the beginning it was alright, because every same-aged soul that wonders the streets back then had the same disease. But what's different is that for them, this disease has an expiry date. For me, it continues to grow and year-by-year, as i hope and wish, it either stays the same as before or worsen in intensity.
Now, lacking freedom is one thing, but what's worse is lacking freedom alone, while others enjoy and live out their "freedom". Every year during the exam period, i have a dilemma. The same dilemma. On the one hand, i need to study as much as I can to score the best possible marks. Everyone is thinking the same and this causes tremendous stress. But what's different from me and the is that they can think of plans and things to do after the living hell that is "exams" are over. But me? No. That is not a luxury I have. That is not part of my birth right as a human being. The only right I have, is the choice to decide if my heart were to continue to beat, if my diaphragm were to continue to contract, and if my nephrons were to continue to filter blood.
Today i was asked this question, "So what will you be doing for your birthday?" I said "nothing". Response: N/A. No-freaking-thing. I have no one, no body to do this with me, because of your stupid plans, your stupid ways and your stupid beliefs. Are you happy? Are you pleased that you have ruined my life? Don't worry, once I am able to leave, I will. You will not see me, you will not hear from me, I will give you money, afterall, we should return what we have been given, but i will not grant you the luxury of torturing me when i can escape it. I am holding, holding my ground patiently. Waiting for that one opportunity to escape and then, perhaps, this disease shall escape me and me it. I look forward to this day, to this hour, to this minute, to this second, to this mllisecond, to this moment. When you will no longer be a part of my life, and when I can truly live my life the way i want to. Those out there who doesn't have this plague, please, enjoy you life, and don't let small petty things get in the way, you have so much to do and so much to live for, please, enjoy "freedom", while i wait patiently to taste its sweetness.
alvin.k
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